By Clive Lilwall
How can you prevent one of life's major problems -- constant arguments that lead to major breakdowns in communications between apparently rational, well-meaning participants who genuinely like or even love each other? These arguments can be caused by a number of factors, including a shortage of time, technology issues, especially computers, a competitive business climate and differences in people's values. Whatever the reasons, we all know the scenario: a minor problem, which somehow quickly develops into a shouting match or worse. Often the speed of breakdown in communication takes everyone by surprise.
Scientists have found that after a certain level of disagreement blind biochemistry takes over. Then it becomes almost impossible to not proceed to replay "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" scenarios. We should realize that we aren't acting logically when we get involved in such arguments. We know, for instance, that it's not logical to sabotage a loving relationship just because someone forgets to do the dishes occasionally. It may be that since we've come to expect perfection in our machines we become annoyed that we can't expect the same perfection in humans. We expect our TVs, computers and stereos to work perfectly, and most of the time they do. Nowadays we even expect our cars to function flawlessly. But the people around us continue to exhibit flawed behavior -- they forget things, they cling to ridiculous ideas, they won't do what they are supposed to do. In short, they often act as if they aren't working properly, as far as we're concerned. If a coffee maker performs perfectly for years why can't your partner do even simple tasks, like remembering to buy the coffee?
It's obvious -- humans aren't machines. They will continue to have different opinions from us, and like us, they will continue to forget things, become cranky and illogical. We'd better get used to it.
Clive Lilwall taught communications at Durham College, Oshawa, Ontario. He is the author of "How to Stop Your 67 Worst Worries." His website is http://www.worryfixer.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/
Scientists have found that after a certain level of disagreement blind biochemistry takes over. Then it becomes almost impossible to not proceed to replay "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" scenarios. We should realize that we aren't acting logically when we get involved in such arguments. We know, for instance, that it's not logical to sabotage a loving relationship just because someone forgets to do the dishes occasionally. It may be that since we've come to expect perfection in our machines we become annoyed that we can't expect the same perfection in humans. We expect our TVs, computers and stereos to work perfectly, and most of the time they do. Nowadays we even expect our cars to function flawlessly. But the people around us continue to exhibit flawed behavior -- they forget things, they cling to ridiculous ideas, they won't do what they are supposed to do. In short, they often act as if they aren't working properly, as far as we're concerned. If a coffee maker performs perfectly for years why can't your partner do even simple tasks, like remembering to buy the coffee?
It's obvious -- humans aren't machines. They will continue to have different opinions from us, and like us, they will continue to forget things, become cranky and illogical. We'd better get used to it.
Clive Lilwall taught communications at Durham College, Oshawa, Ontario. He is the author of "How to Stop Your 67 Worst Worries." His website is http://www.worryfixer.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/
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